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"I hate people generally, but I like people individually."

- introverts (via janesblueheaven)

Listened to a song in my car today that reminded me of a group of close friends on their way to the beach. I pictured myself in the car as the driver listening and being included in all the gossip and laughs. On our way to the beach to have a whole day there, all of us together. There would be no third wheels. Everyone loves eachother like a best friend. Then I put myself back into reality. I’m in my work uniform driving to work, not the beach with friends. And when I am at work bagging groceries, I will feel a sadness when I see all the good friends and bbq-ers getting ready for a fun day surrounded by friends. At the end of the day I will go home all day and all night. No one will call me and I will not call anyone. Repeat.

Almost broke that almost six year streak. Because you don’t hold my hand, walk with me, stand with me, tell me anything romantic, etc. I stay because I dont want to be alone. I looked at my phone log, you are my most dialed number. There is no one else.


i’m just going to curl up in bed all day with my cats while they watch the birds…because they’ve never called me a bitch, or told me how meaningless i was.

Story of my life…

Rule #1: Don’t get attatched to the new people you meet. They never stay.

If you say that your scared about the Andromeda Galaxy crashing with the Milky Way Galaxy because you think its gonna happen in our lifetime, your stupid, don’t join our conversation.


Cat selfies

So it looks like I am what I made myself to be all along. A loner who doesn’t care if they make contact with a friend or not, even though I know I should make contact because their the only person other than my significant other that I know will listen. But then again they dont. I recieved an essay email about how i dont try or put effort into our friendship. Fuck, i dont know! I have a problem with keeping and maintaining friends. But then I look at other people’s friends and wish I had a close knit bond like what I see around me. Curse this. Fuck.