Scares me to the core of my well-being

I have a social clock creeping up on me lately.
License to drive-check
minimum wage job-check
boyfriend-check
some friends to go out with-check
schooling/college-….umm, no?
clear career path-…………no?
……-…….?????

I feel like this currently. My cousin who is just a few months older is done with schooling and is licensed to be a pharmacy technician…hmm-maybe I should follow her lead? My friend who is one month younger than I is done with schooling and is a licensed massage therapist…hmm, maybe I should follow her lead??

No, self, you should be following Yourself. hmm?

You are absolutely right! I don’t know what to do though, i feel lost. a lost girl. a lost stranger amongst a crowded street looking upwards toward the skyline, above everyones well combed and styled heads and bodies…wondering…where will i be? what will i accomplish in life and do? will i forever for the rest of my life here be clothed and in clean clothes and hygiene versus the unsuccess of life that has befallen so many homeless people sleeping on the benches and walking around the grocery store parking lots asking for money?

it scares me to the core of my well being, in my nicely furnished room I call my own.

Parents dont live forever…Remember that…well, I am afraid and scared of the after that…


  1. amandaisalive posted this